A Note to My Grandkids about Racism

One day when you are older, I hope you will read this and it will make sense.  

Over the past week, I have been imagining a better world for you.

But I have realized once again in the light of current events that…

I can’t imagine a better world for you if I don’t fight
for a better world for people who don’t look like you.

Please understand that I am writing this to you
not because I think I’m right,
but because I was wrong for so long.

And trust me.
It’s not the only thing I have gotten wrong. I’m sure your parents can tell you more about that. But just in case you get in trouble along the way, I can tell you a few stories about them, too.

Anyway, I hope you can learn from some of my mistakes.

Somehow, I managed to rationalize my racism.
I believed that as long as I…
was friendly to people of color
voted my conscience
treated everyone respectfully
generously supported specific causes
and went to church every Sunday
…that I certainly didn’t have any racist attitudes.

But then again, I am pretty sure that most
people who are racists don’t know they are.

This is one of those issues that can
too easily become a personal blind spot.

That’s why you have to become
intentional about taking a closer look at yourself.

Racist attitudes can be seen in how you…
react to a joke
make assumptions about someone’s guilt or intelligence
allow a slur to go unchallenged
dismiss another person’s opinion
look at someone walking down the street
stay silent when there’s a threat

So, I’m going to give you a little grandparent advice.
Here are 4 things I hope you will always do.

Make friends with people 
who don’t look like you.

Don’t just be friendly with people who are different than you.
Do the hard work of becoming friends.  

Sit at a table with them. 
Dream with them. 
Share life with them.
Mostly,
Listen to them.

If you don’t listen to people who are different than you,
you will never see what you can’t see.

Here’s the point.
Most of us self-select friends who see everything the way we do.
Friends who are like you make life more comfortable. But when you have friends who see things differently, they disrupt your world in a healthy way. These friendships will always be harder. The problem is that, if you leave them out of your life, you will actually miss out on what makes life…
magical
fascinating, and
passionate.  

So, invite yourself into their world and invite them into yours.
It will create a better world because it will make you a better person. 

 When my vocabulary changed
from “those people...” to “my friends,” I changed forever.

That’s what I hope for you.

And I believe…
You will never be able to imagine a better world
until you are able to truly imagine what it’s like to live in someone else’s world.

Learn the history in this country from
people who don’t look like you.

I have always believed America is a land of incredible opportunity.
I am thankful that you live here for more reasons than I can write in this post. There are men and women from every background who have sacrificed everything so you can live with the privileges you have. Today happens to be Memorial Day 2020, and we should never forget the price so many have paid so we can be free. 

But this is also true. “America has not treated everyone who lives here equally.” More specifically, “America has mistreated select groups of people in this country horribly.” Anyone who tries to tell you something different is not a true historian.

Even though the intent of our founders was “equality,” there are still people today who have never realized what it means to be seen or treated as equal.

I need to say this so it’s clear.
There was an original sin of slavery and white supremacy that existed in the formation of this country that created enormous pain and suffering.
You need to study what happened.
You need to hear the stories.
You need to imagine what was unimaginable.

I’m afraid if you fail to imagine it,
you will never speak up against it.

I didn’t for too long.

Remember that this country will never heal until enough of us are willing to use whatever privilege we have to restore what has been broken.

I hope and pray that will happen in my lifetime.

The truth is, if you only hear the story of America from people like you, you won’t hear all the truth. And you need to know all the truth, so you can care for all of the people who live here.

Talk about God with people 
who don’t look like you. 

Here are a few interesting facts:
Jesus had darker skin than yours.
The disciples were from the Middle East.
A black man helped Jesus carry His cross.
The Gospel story compels us to love neighbors who don’t look like us.

God is infinite. He is far too big to be understood through the filter of one race.

Never make the mistake of only viewing God through the lens of people who look like you. If you do, your version of God will be extremely limited. When you see, hear, and experience faith from people who don’t look like you, God will become bigger than you ever imagined.

Oh, and don’t trust any version of the Gospel that doesn’t compel you to “love” people who don’t look like you. Unfortunately, there will be a lot of leaders who will try to get you to buy into a theology that ignores—or even justifies—the mistreatment of people who are different than you. Don’t believe them.

Instead, take your cue from Jesus.
He showed us all what it looked like to love others.

Speak up for people 
who don’t look like you.

I was born in 1960, near the beginning of the civil rights movement.
It started because a handful of leaders had the courage to use their voices to challenge the injustices that had existed for centuries in our country.

Most of those who spoke up for those rights didn’t look like you.
They were brave.
They were courageous.
They were right.
And it cost too many of them their lives.

Unfortunately, most white leaders were on the wrong side of what was right for too long.

So, it’s time for us to stop the silence.

A common statement I hear from my friends of color these days is, “I’m exhausted.”
Too many are…
frustrated
angry, and
disappointed
…for primarily one reason. 

Most people who look like you and me are still not showing up. 

And ironically,
my black friends…
Keep forgiving
Keep loving
Keep waiting
…until this world that we have handed them changes.

But I can tell that they are really tired.

By the time you are my age, I hope it will be a much better world. I’m not naïve enough to believe hate and racist acts will not exist. But my prayer is that those behaviors will not be tolerated by most people who look like you.

That’s why,
I hope you will always speak up for people who don’t look like you.
Not because they shouldn’t speak up for themselves,
but because they shouldn’t have to speak up by themselves.

The most dangerous version of racism is the kind that is quiet. 

Quiet racism is harder to… 
clarify
confront, and
confess.

And it invites hatred to continue to thrive unchecked. 

The lesson we should learn from past leaders is echoed in this idea:
“If you refuse to confront racism anywhere,
you invite racism to thrive everywhere.”

That’s why the only way to imagine a better world for you,
is to fight for a better world for people who don’t look like you.